Max likes guava rolls, the deliciously sugary dried fruit rolls this country is famous for. He is the only one in our family who eats them so I buy them as a treat for his lunchbox. The other day, I bought a pack of ten mini rolls…and Max ate 5 in one day. This is not good.
I bought him a new kind of multi vitamin that looked and tasted like jelly tots and he finished a month’s supply in 10 days. That is really not good! He likes Tropica juice but if I buy a pack of 6, he will drink a pack of 6 in two days. I could go on and on.
Max has a real struggle with self control and even though he is terrible at hiding his indiscretions and even worse at lying about it, he keeps sneaking into the kitchen and eating all the “bad” food. Normally, I wouldn’t mind. I never restrict my kids from eating – there are always fruit, veggies and bread available for them if they need a snack and I fully understand that they are growing boys and need to eat. That isn’t the problem. The problem is Max’s lack of control when it comes to sweets and anything of a sugary nature.
If he goes to a party and we don’t stay at the event, we know he is going to come home completely high on sugar and the evening is going to be spent trying to get him calm enough to get some sleep and the next day is going to be hanging out with a seriously grumpy kid. And even though he knows how terrible his come down is going to be and how unpleasant he is going to feel the next day, a few weeks go by and the next party comes around and Max is right back to overdoing it all
over again.
The thing is – are these the early warning signs of a worse kind addiction later on in life and what do I do about it? Most people that I mention this to or try to talk about it with tell me that I am worrying about nothing and that I mustn’t say things like that because I will speak it into his life. They say that every child likes sugar and struggles with self control, that this will pass and when he grows up, everything will be fine. But what happens if this isn’t a phase? If it isn’t just childish behaviour?
If I am to believe that addiction is hereditary then it is a disposition that we are born with and so wouldn’t it make sense that there be signs of this kind of behaviour in children rather than just waking up one day and *boom* you have your first drink and can’t control yourself? Wouldn’t it make sense that there would be patterns of behaviour for years beforehand like a lack of self control in certain areas of life? Like being so desperate for a fruit roll that you will sneak into the kitchen in
the middle of the night and stuff three down your throat before sneaking back to bed and pretending to sleep when your parents check up on you before they go to sleep? Like hiding empty food packets under your bed only to be discovered by the domestic when she tries to flip your mattress and then trying to lie about it. Like not caring about hurting your parents when you repeat this same pattern of behaviour over and over and over again even though you have promised to stop and cried and begged for one more chance for them to trust you?
I don’t WANT to speak anything negative into my child’s life but I also don’t want to blatantly ignore the potential warning signs of a far bigger problem. Addiction in whatever form is a huge problem in the world today and I can’t just pretend that I am not seeing some major precursers to a far greater problem.
I am not entirely sure what to do about the situation at this point in time. Ultimately, it is Max’s issue. He is the one who needs to learn some measure of self control. How to teach someone self control is easier said than done, I can assure you! We do talk very openly about addiction and the ramifications of certain decisions, we talk about peer pressure and growing up, we talk about mistakes that we have made and about consequences and forgiveness and the reality that both boys are going to have a lot more stuff offered to them than was available when Anton and I were growing up. I am doing my best, trying to reinforce positive behaviour, praising small measures of control and being as encouraging as possible. but if I am totally honest, the thing I do most is pray.
I pray that my son will find it in him to make good choices, I pray that he will get over this (hopefully) phase in his life and I also pray that if he has to be addicted to something, it’s sugar, I can live with the sugar highs. I pray that I am wrong, that I am just being a silly, overprotective mother who is going to look back at this one day and be embarrassed that I could ever have thought that about my beautiful, wonderful boy. I pray that a lot.
Chat soon
E xx
Me vs the laundry basket 