Today on Human Planet, we will explore the intricacies of the developmental stage of homo sapiens know as the Pre-Teen. This is a beautiful stage in your children’s lives when they are the perfect blend of old enough to do things for themselves and young enough to still think their parents are the sun and moon. This glorious era has been known to begin from as young as 6 years of age and continues until around the age of 12.
The Pre-Teen is excited about life and all it has to offer, they are firmly established in “Big School” now and are keen to flex their intellectual muscles by learning as many new things about their environment as possible. This does not only mean they are learning about the great wide world and how to do multiplication but includes wanting to learn how to wash the car and make their own breakfast. They may even wander into wanting to know how to cook an easy supper meal or baking their first chocolate cake and it is a wise Mother that promotes this kind of experimental learning with lots of praise and much licking of the wooden spoon.
There is delightful jumping out of bed in the morning and the Pre-Teen is proud to show off their unique style by dressing themselves. A word of caution here – the Mother should only criticise the outfit if it is grossly inappropriate for the day’s weather or if special photos are to be taken during the day’s activities. Silliness abounds and dress up is a desired activity. Make believe, magic and fun are still the order of the day. They are also enthusiastic about hygiene and will often spend countless hours happily ensconced in the bath playing with ducks and submarines. They always brush their teeth and getting braces is seen as a rite of passage and is worn as a badge of honour and a declaration that there are no more baby teeth here.
There may be the odd stumbling block for the parents when their young are introduced to the realisation that the world is not quite their oyster and all the toys don’t belong to them but this is handled with the time-honoured tradition of sitting down and having a chat about it. There may be the odd tear or two but, again, this is well handled and the Pre-Teen wouldn’t dream of reverting back to toddler style tantrums and so any bumps in the road are quickly sorted out and smooth sailing is restored.
At this age the Pre-Teen is still seeking comfort from the Mother and Father and there is a natural reverence and respect that is shown to all those in the pack who are seen as elders. Teachers are adored and wonderful stories are regaled at dinner time about that interesting tidbit that was gleaned from the day’s learning. Hugs and kisses are freely given and holding hands in public is not only allowed but often instigated by the Pre-Teen. A gift or show of kindness given by the parents is accepted with gratitude and appreciation is shown in many ways, often spontaneously. The Pre-Teen is known for writing cards and drawing pictures of their parental unit in a flattering light and it would not be uncommon for the phrase “You are the best Mother/Father” to be heard around the den.
Ah, yes, the Pre-Teen is surely a magnificent phase of life for the young and old alike. It is said by many to be the reward for surviving the tumultuous Toddler years and provides a resting period for the Mother and Father before the arduous foray into the Teen Age. Many an unsuspecting parent has looked back on these years with a little tear in the eye and expressed that they could never have known just how quickly that glorious time would pass as they woke up to discover themselves overwhelmed by the seeming purgatory of living with Teenagers.
The old idiom “you can’t live with them, you can’t kill them” quickly becomes the catch phrase in any house dominated by the dreaded Teen but a word to the wise – for any parent dreaming of revisiting the magical years of bliss by having a “Laat Lammetjie”* as it is referred to, please always remember that every Pre-Teen must eventually learn to roll those innocent eyes and shake off those bonds of politeness and smiling faces and brave the new world of sarcasm and door slamming if they are to pass through to the final destination of adulthood.
All that a desperate parent can do is hope that both they and their offspring survive the journey long enough for the ultimate reward of the promised Grandchildren.
And so ends another episode of Human Planet, please join us again next week as we delve into the fascinating phenomenon of the Young Adult who refuses to move out of their parent’s Garden Cottage.
Goodnight.
* English translation – Late Lamb or a child born many years after the previous last born.
Me vs the laundry basket 